When i closed my eyes and I could no longer measure the distance between us I had to rely on my other senses. My mind had persistently failed in dictating a dignifying posture for my body thus i was entitled to indulge myself with an uncarefully directed frivolity.
My fingers were so dry and thirsty that they were slipping too rapidly for the reasonable me to have any time to oppose. I knew he was looking at me because i was feeling warm. Strange how his eyes of the coldest depths could tie me up like that. What was even more strange was his embrace. I could hear his heartbeat like the countdown towards a resolution unacceptable according to the appropriateness i was used to. I was then in him for a moment and we exchanged blood and tiny bits of ideas about feelings. I used my hair to surround him for a while so i could make sure he wasn't going away too soon.
I was shaking so hard that i was drawing an imaginary aura of heavenly happiness around me. It was a feeling i had buried together with my teenage years in my parent's home. A florescent and volatile ray of emotion couldn't possibly escape from under the weight of heavy history books. It had been so distant from me that i started thinking it was actually the dust I breath when i flick through the smelly pages.